Couples Therapy and Marriage Counseling in Asheville, NC

marriage and relationships are supposed to grow and challenge us

but you don’t have to figure it out alone

We are wired for love, but we don’t always know how to give and receive it in the ways we hoped for. Even if a relationship once felt easy, life changes can throw new stressors at a partnership. The past can color your present experiences. Sometimes the relationship struggles to grow in the same direction or at the same pace as the individuals. Or maybe you’re happy and you want to go deeper and proactively keep things going well. In all of these cases, couples counseling can be supportive. I work with people in all stages and types of relationships, including polyamory/ENM, kink, and LGBTQIA+. In couples counseling (or polycule counseling!), we can explore issues such as:

communication issues
resolving recurring conflict
healing trust after an affair, infidelity, or other significant rupture
sexual issues including differences in desire, past trauma getting stirred up, menopause, or negotiating new agreements
premarital counseling
deepening connection and intimacy
parenting challenges and family issues
life or relationship transitions such as postpartum, a move, a new job, aging parents, or empty nesting

I am certified in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT)

a gold standard, research-backed approach to working with couples. This model gives us a way to recognize patterns of disconnection that keep creating roadblocks or conflict in the relationship. In our sessions, we are able to map out what this pattern is and slow it down, peeling back the layers of defenses the members of the couple have built up and exploring the vulnerable emotions and needs that lie protected within. From this place, the couple is able to experience a more authentic and connective dialogue within sessions, and bring these experiences home with them to begin to do things differently. EFT embraces and works from the principles of attachment theory—the understanding that we are innately hardwired for connection and emotional responsiveness to our closest people. Read more about EFCT here.

I also have professional training (Levels I and II) in the Gottman Method of couples therapy. This method is backed by over 40 years of research about the skills and tools that happy couples use to keep their relationship strong and healthy. I help couples zero in on the strengths of their relationship and also the areas that need improvement. We can then use sessions to practice skills and have new conversations that build trust, friendship, and harmony between the couple. Learn more about Gottman Method here.

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FAQ for couples therapy

Should we do virtual or in-person couples counseling?

1

I offer in-person couples therapy in Asheville at my office downtown(lots of free parking on site) and I offer virtual therapy for all of NC. Many couples find that in-person therapy has a greater feeling of connection and emotional immediacy, and it can be nice to have a dedicated space outside the home for therapy. For other couples, meeting virtually is preferable—perhaps the drive is too far, being in person is too overstimulating, or one person is joining from work during their lunch break. My practice is flexible so you can choose what works best for you!

How long does couples counseling last?

2

That depends on your goals, motivation, and level of distress. A happy couple coming in for premarital counseling may not need as many sessions as a couple who has been married for 30 years and is in relationship crisis. While of course you can stop at any time, I recommend a minimum of 8 sessions.

We’ve tried couples therapy before and it didn’t help. Why trust you?

3

If you haven’t been successful yet and you’re here now: I admire your persistence! While I can’t guarantee you’ll get the outcome you hope for from our work together, I’ll tell you some things that make me feel hopeful.

I have advanced training in two of the most respected and well-researched models of couples therapy, and I’ve been working with couples as the main focus of my practice for over 5 years. My experience and ongoing training give me a solid framework that provides a road map for tough sessions, complicated situations, and sticking points. When hard things come up in session, I don’t look for quick fixes. I lean into what’s happening as vitally important information, so that the changes we make together address root causes, rather than put band-aides on your relationship. I’m direct and I’m focused, and I’m also committed to seeing your pain and your best self shining through all of it. Finally, I offer a free consultation before beginning with new clients, so you can feel out if I’m a good fit for you. If it doesn’t feel right, choose someone else—goodness of fit is a big predictor of therapeutic success.